Awesome Man Shenanigans

Operation B.E.D.A: Day 1

2010-04-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe this blog is already a year old. It seems like just yesterday I was awkwardly befriending you people. Now I am a grown ass college man with a neglected blog child.
Blogging is dead to pretty much all of you so i'm not going to post more than a few sentences each day.
I went to Nobi with Toolor today and it was good. It's like subway but for Asians who eat healthy. I had some kinda pork samich with eggrolls and the best iced coffee i have ever tasted. Next time everyone comes down we should go there.

The great war

2009-12-14T13:18:00.000-08:00

Jason was a good friend of mine. We served in nam together. I remember pulling him out of that trench on Omaha beach while the Chinese were shooting at us. That was our finest hour. Now he's gone.

El Dallas del fun time

2009-12-07T16:09:00.000-08:00

The Dallas Adventure was a successful endeavor. I learned much about the people with whom I "hang". I learned that apples pent up anger goes much deeper than once thought. I learned that chelsea is real and Alec really does get his wiener wet. I also learned that Jason is cool to be around for long periods of time.
Sometimes he wants to be touched and sometimes he doesn't. I learned that hotels are evil, nerf wars are fun, Maturity and sophistication are overrated. I learned that Shadowlan sucks, I learned that eating out gets expensive but can be worth it, that you know your close to friends when you can threaten them with buttsex and it's all cool.

I want to do this at least once a year.

The internet Is a porn machine!

2009-10-21T00:16:00.001-07:00

I will turn this blog into a disgrace if i don't get a comment i will slander all you bitches!

Boner

2009-10-14T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have a Big veiny elongated rock-hard Boner.

since nobody takes blogger seriously i can do this right?

Bleh!

2009-10-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

Why dont we just quit bloggin altogether and just use the stupid forum. Posts are few and far between and the ones we do make suck!

Taylor kills animals, Mecilessly

2009-09-30T19:35:00.001-07:00

Ever fell like life has a death grip on your testicles?

When I pee it Rains, Ferociously!

2009-09-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

I finally have a car but now I have to move into my grandpa's place. There's no internet there, or tv, or anything. Which poses the question how will I access blackboard? I bet Andrew Chester will let me use his internet, shower, toilet, beds, kithcen, etc.

Perfect

2009-09-25T23:22:00.001-07:00

I still feel a bit shaken from the manager getting after me. I should have been expecting him. I should have had a witty excuse prepared. I was supposed to be perfect! What is happening to me?
But No he catches me completely off guard. I cant live with it. I should have been ready but stumbled , turned into a frightened child in front of a man who was mad with grocery store mangement power. I could not make eye contact my speech was slurred. I was lost.

Why Do I Hold on to these things. The Scientists programmed me to be ready for anything! What went wrong?

I am perfect...perfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfect
perfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfect
perfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfectperfect

Shut up Manager!

2009-09-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

I was at my "cool" job today and there were only two sackers there. Me and this retarded guy who's name i do not care to remember. The certain retarded somebody has allergies to good weather so he went home leaving me to do the work of no less than three grinches. I asked the floor sup what she wanted me to do. She says go out to lot. I say fuck yeah and do it. After I gathered about 70 baskets i realized that i had done more in 45 minutes than that fuckin tard could do in two hours. So decide to give myself an unofficial brake. I sit down next to the chick who was doing sanitation on the bench outside and we talked. THEN the manager Jason Asshole face comes out and asks Are you on break. And I say no(Im thinking oh Shit) He says "theres customers bagging their own groceries" . I say . . .Uhh Im sorry ill get back to work( I think if people buy a shit load of food and save a shit load of money bagging service shouldnt be included).
Then Jason says I would send you home but im shorthanded. I say I wont let it happen again.
(I tried to play it off smooth but that didnt work This was one of the most awkward moments i have ever experienced). Im pretty sure he would'nt have done it anyway because, Its not healthy for a company to fire its most competent people.

Anyway this is what my face was like: O_O

I almost forgot to Add that i am in fact moving out. I dont know if I will have Internet. I will probably end up getting getting a cell and tethering so i can communicate. I dont know if this is for sure but It's about 80%.

:"pP!@#JudgementA=re$Wwe455;''

2009-09-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

Blogging is so boring now. All I have to talk about is depressing shit and I imagine that you guys don't wanna hear about my problems.

I'm gonna scan all the artwork from my kyle album and post it. . .maybe . .Probably not for awhile.

i just imagined snake baby eating normal babies. infamous lil bastard haunts me in the brain. . . He Broadcasts his nightmares from india and our delicate american minds can't handle it.

I cant sleep. will not sleep. until, he is silenced. it is inevitable. we will perish if snake baby doesnt.
hrw0384hpqw'392345y025238 "{"PP{L:klhgd<>hdth Oh the nightmares?>."{}+_=[][pThey haunt me {{}{<<,,Relentlessly.234we are?/?2345424all his victims...Can't sleep...
_ _
Help me O_O

2009-08-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

Turns out my dad isnt kicking me out cuz he a person to do stuff like mow the lawn. But he is still an asshole.

F***

2009-08-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

My dad thinks That he's liable if I get in an accident. He's paranoid that i will get sued and the lawyers will look at my medical records and see that ive been treated for bipolar and that they government is gonna take everything.
the car isn't even in his name. According to his undeniable logic I should move in with the person lending me the car.

Fuck That, Fuck everything!

Ill be paying insurance. But he still does'nt listen, I feel like Punching him till he understands or dies! But it doesnt work like that. : (

2009-08-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

I finally told my dad I was offered a car. He wants me to move out if I take it. FML!

2009-08-17T00:05:00.001-07:00

I hate all of you!

2009-08-14T22:52:00.000-07:00

Stop it!

2009-08-12T00:32:00.000-07:00

The kyle draw off is between kyle and I! You guys suck and you cant paste in hentai eyes!

Kyle

2009-08-08T14:55:00.000-07:00

I have nothing interesting to say currently. I just read kyles blog and decided I would post naked pictures of him in cutesy poses like he wants to be loved on!

Untitled

2009-08-05T22:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry I havent been hanging with you guys I've been really tied up lately. Tomorrow i have to be a poll bearer and help carry my grandmother's casket. I've got mixed feelings about it. It's something I just cant get comfortable with carrying someone I cared about to their grave.

My grandpa and I worked out a deal where I can have a car as long as I hold a job and go to college and keep my grades up, But dad doesn't want me driving and has done his best to see that I dont. So Im trying to keep that secret until I have it parked in the driveway.

I hope we can hang out soon guys. I need to be with friends this weekend.

I am, MS paint god!

2009-07-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

Oh yes I did!

Notice!

2009-07-26T02:04:00.000-07:00

Blue mountain dew game fuel turned my shit blue!

I was perplexed as i stared into the the toilet trying not to laugh!

I would post a picture but I already flushed it cuz I was frightened to my very core!

Dreamcrusher!!!

2009-07-24T01:55:00.001-07:00

IM ON TOP HOMEY!!! ...fer now

Where's Maria?

2009-07-17T04:21:00.000-07:00

I cant keep staying up till 5:00 playing Gears. It's fun but my internal clock is more messed up than the way I think. I am wide awake right now at 6:30 am but this afternoon Im' probably going to walk around in a half-awake stupor where everything seems funny.

Ive compiled a list of things that you people and alec need to get done.

Jason, fix ur internet

Alec, Get gears of war

Kyle, Get on xbox live before midnight

Taylor, . . .Clean ur room

I am really bored, I need sedatives, now!

IDEA

2009-06-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

i was sittin' in the living room with my dad when a movie came on Lifetime about a little boy getting abducted from his home. his name was chris. That's when i got an idea, an awful terrible wonderful idea. We should steal apple from his house sometime this summer and take him somwhere, i havent thought aboot the location or details but think of how fun it would be to tackle his skinny ass and tie him up load him in a vehicle and take him somwheres. it will be awesooommmee!!!! his parents shouldnt be a problem because they dont care about him, and if we asked for ransom money... anyway we should do it because its fuckin' awesome and i dont want anyone to tell or ill kill them.

-<( '-'<) ----Kirby right there!!!

STREET FIGHTER!!!!!!

2009-06-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

I was watching saving private ryan last night with my parents, good movie. then we got to that one part. . . mama mama mama. I thought of the street fighter thing and laughed as the soldier in the movie bled to death. My parents think im a sick person now.

2009-06-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

I gots laptop!

I dun wanna!

2009-05-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

I dont want to blog anymore it's boring nobody leaves comments anymore.
: {( = sad mexican face

2009-05-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about my favorite elementary school memory! THE HUNGRY frickin' CATERPILLAR!
This book is sooooo Epic! Just look at the cover! caterpillars normally don't have have green eyes but not this hungry fella. Look at those collassal green peepers. The reason I love this book is because the caterpillar. . . . he is . . . .I don't know why I like this book so much. I cant even remember most of what he eats. he's cool though LOOKHIM!

My face hurts!

2009-05-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

I've been in pain since Thursday. I haven't seen any of my friends since Wednesday. My gums had been bleeding profusely but thankfully that stopped. I've been taking vicoden every 4 hours to help with pain, but the pills are really hard to swallow when the whole inside of your mouth is swollen. My friends wanted me to go to apple's house today but I was running a 102.5 fever. Do you know how pissed apple's parents would be if I died in their house? They would go apeshit on him and I did'nt want that to happen, because im a good friend.

I cant eat regular manfood anymore i have to drink slimfast, And I think that i formed an addiction to it.

Taylor keeps saying what he thinks happend in that operating room, Taylor if your reading this than Fuck you!

What is the purpose of wisdom teeth if they just cause you pain? Why God, Why?

Oh no my faes

2009-04-30T21:20:00.000-07:00

I cant blg right now but this my attempt. I got my wisdom teef cut out this morning, and ive beeen bleedin fom my face ever since. Im on a very powerful paan mediktion and i cant concntrate on annithing.... . ..Oooowwweey!

Dreams: do they mean anything?

2009-04-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

I had a dream yesterday that Ms. Storey my, english teacher was scolding me for not finishing my research project. Which is funny cuz I finished it. It was strange though because it seemed so real even though she yelled obcenities at me, then again ms storey would yell obscenties.

Not long ago I had a dream involving apple. We was at his house, me and taylor was. Just sitting there in apple's den playing Left 4 Dead. having a good ole' time laughin' and playing video games. then apple yells at his laptop and slams it closed. He gets up and leaves. I ask what that was all about and taylor shrugs and we keep playing. Then out of nowhere i feel the nudge of cold metal on my temple. i shift my eyes and see its a gun and apples is holding it. He then pulls the trigger and I dont die. I fell the bullet crush and grind its way through the skull behind my eyes and then I watch my brains squish on the floor. Then taylor tries to run but apple follows him. Im sitting in the chair stiil aware but with the center of my head on the ground, Mind you. Any way taylor runs back in the room and apple shoots him dead on the floor in front of me.

-- After I woke up from this dream I tried to stay awake forever!
--What does it mean?

Any way y'all keep an eye on apple: he killed me after all.

One of these days.. .

2009-04-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

I really want to blog just not now. I hope you all Live long happy lives *Unless listed below

Apple(Kris)

He's the only one, I hope he dies in his prime

-I don't mean any of that Im just in a terrible state of mind. Watch out I might do something a little . . .would you say, Insane?

Group

2009-04-24T21:14:00.000-07:00

I just woke up from a five hour nap. It's raining outside my house, strenuously. I've been going to stupid group therapy for depression from 1:00 to 5:30 and it's getting tiresome. There was this weird druggie guy who was the vocalist for a screamo band. He was trippin balls. All he did was play screamo bullshit from his phone. We all freaked the fuck out when he let out a deep raspy yell of his own. It's almost funny seing people who have more problems than me.

-My pen drawing skill has increased tremendously! alls I do is draw shit and mezmerize all the other problem kids with my Pen-nanigans (new word, maybe)

I'm really tired I think I might be trippin' balls.

F***

2009-04-21T14:03:00.001-07:00

I just found out that I'm going to a damn bipolar group therapy thing for nearly six hours a day for the next two weeks to talk to fuck-ups like me who have trouble controlling their moods. They lady who interviewed me today told my mom to hide all the ropes guns and sharp objects so I don't kill myself! Fuck! Damn it! Son O' Bitch!, I cant do nothin' no mores! There will be no hanging out fer the next two weeks!

On a much lighter note. . .

-NOTHING!!!

Im writing while I'm ANGRYYYY!!!
FUCK! SHIT! DICKBUTT!

Sun!

2009-04-18T13:30:00.001-07:00

My God in heaven, Look at that rain Sunrise! I honestly don't feel like blogging right now, but if I don't I'm afraid you guys won't think I'm c co coooooool.

2009-04-17T12:27:00.001-07:00

This is the greatest freakin' day ever!
Today we have laptops in Ms. storey's class! So Im writing a post...In MS note pad
Appearently it's dress-up-and-act-like-a-pirate-day and no one told me. This one kid in my class is completely decked out. He's got his skull cap, high leg boots, a white shirt with a ruffled collar and cuffs, a vest and an accordion. He's playing us the Free Credit Report song!

Ms. Storey is talking about her hairy legs and how it feels cool when the wind blows her winter coat. Ugh! It does'nt bother me though.
If you don't believe me lisa can confirm my story.

On a Much lighter note, Taylor is skinny. He's so skinny he makes me look like jason and jason look like jason with his shirt off. That wasn't a lighter note at all. Im a Mean person. I make everyone around me Upset.
My Sins are going to take me straight to hell! If y'all tried to murder me i wouldn't be upset i deserve it.(I'd be Pissed)

If you haven't noticed i cant stay on a subject for long ive already gone through three of them.
next subject: The holocaust

Have you ever tried to combine names of tragic events with the word holocaust? I have here's a few

Hindenburg+Holo....Shit! Ms storey go away!!!
Storey: John, What is that?(pause)
John: My Research paper.(lie)
Storey: Why are you in notepad?
John: I dont have MS word at home so I have to use notepad.(Also a lie)
Pirate Guy:(plays Won't You Be My Darlin' on his accordion.)
Storey: Riley put the accordion up!(she leaves)

Ok she's gone! with her bear legs

OK back to the holocaust thing:
Hindenburg+Holocaust= Hindencaust
Titanic+Holocaust= Titanicaust
Hiroshima+Holocaust= Hiroshicaust
Irish potato famine+Holocaust = Potatocaust?
I hope none of you are jewish.

Now I'm in Digital Graphics. LOL I can get away with anything in school!
I hate mac computers Even though they are generally faster than PC's.
I should be working right now but Ms. Luther aint Here. I would propose a high five but the only people in this class who would oblige me are Aftab and Martin, and I don't want their weird hands on me. Just kidding Aftab is pretty cool he like's to skateboard.

I think This is my longest blog ever and Im still in school. Ima find Pictures!(Also a lie I dont want to find pictures)

Laser Cats!

2009-04-13T19:06:00.000-07:00

Ha! the title got you interested,
I've devised many ways to murder our beloved Taylor it would be so easy. Look at the guy he would snap like a tooth pick. Killing him would be like a fight with Martin Bruner; No Contest!
Taylor is such a bastard, pathetic excuse for a human being. But he's mah friend I wuv him I'm just saying that if he needed killing It would'nt be too hard.

I really couldnt kill anybody, Im just a coward. I can't help but fear for my life upon the sight of monarch butterflies. This one time at the theater I went into anaphaltic shock when I saw John Travolta in a fatsuit in Hairspray. I'm just a puss factory. Im scared of Jason, he's so amazing.!!!
-These are all lies. Even the part about jason being amazing.

Thought of thy day: Techno Viking!!!

Music

2009-04-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

I want that little Ipod thing taylor has on his blog, But my music might scare the away friends im trying to make. Im blogging about music right now. Im into that hard rock shit with bands like Avenged Sevenfold, Godsmack, Disturbed, and Breaking Benjamin. I hate screamo though, who the fuck decided that screaming into the mic would be a good idea? For that matter why did the audience like it? I'll never understand some people. I'ts almost as bad as rap. I despise rap music
, if u could call it music. It's rap is actually an acronym for Retards Attempting Poetry(exceptEminem)

Techno-its music for robots (and jason) its great though with the catchy rubber band sounds and beeps and boops tied in with a heavy bass. it just makes you feel happy, like crystal meth. It makes it seem as though robots ruling the earth isnt a bad thing.

Thought of the day: Does anyone else hate it when people play their music louder than they should so you will think they're cool?

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

It's good to know that god brought Jesus back from the dead to love everyone(except Alec)

I just woke up from a four hour nap to a wonderful Easter dinner, and a ton of Brewer homework, To hell with precal

Depression

2009-04-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

being bipolar sucks i just got severely depressed cuz I cant connect to xbox live. What the fuck is wrong with me? One hour ago I was just dandy and now im blogging about my depression to you people (yeah i said "you people") so i dont go on a hooker killing rampage. Like seriously I come home thinkin' im going to play call of duty 4, maybe pwn sum nwbs so i turn on my xbox and bam ERROR! cant connect to xbox live.

we just switched from comcast to AT&T(infinity times bettr) but it wont work if u dont have a good connection. My family is poor! so we cant afford a decent 50 ft ethernet cable. So I has to run two 25ft ones connected by some faulty adapter thing running through my attic. while all them rich folks has their advaced wireless adapters for their 360's, why can't i be one of those wonderful people.

Emotions

2009-04-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

I kinda haven't been blogging at all. I don't have time for this I'm too busy doing cool guy. . . I mean awesome man stuff. If I took blogging seriously it would'nt be to pour out my emotions and problems.

You're supposed to hold you're feelings inside the back of your mind until the mental barriers holding back those feelings collapse and you snap and go on a secret rampage and start picking up hookers and brutally murdering them and then dumping their bodies in the same place and then the police get a report from some guy who was taking a stroll and found the stash of dead hookers in various states of decay and then the CSI people find ur semen and put it in thier semen data base and it matches to you and they track you to a trashy motel where they catch you in the act and your like "Oh noes you got the wrong man" but they're like TAZER!!!. . . and you're like "Oww! Fuck!!" and you roll on the ground and they hit you with a tranquilizer because you're a fuckin' animal!! and the prostitute is like "holy shit" and then they tazer her too because prostitutes are bad whores! and it's also illegal in the state of Texas and then you wake up and you look around and see bars and relize that you're strapped down getting lethal injection but the guy who was supposed to fill the needles with poison accidentally filled them with steroids and you get super strength and break the restrints like wet noodles cuz you dont need them you're a fucking beast now look at you, you just broke out of prison with you're bare hands!!!
but oh noes the 6,000 cc's of pure anabolic steroids has made your heart explode you're dead,
Th3y taught y0u how to ki11 bu7 not how to 1ov3. . .And that's how you make a run on sentence.

ooh my illegally downloaded torrents just finished I now has Guns n' Roses Chinese Democracy album and Incredibad!!! all for free and if you tell the government i'll fuck u up!

Thought of the Day: I super hope my parents never ever read my blog. (Worried face)

Why I Do This?

2009-04-06T16:09:00.000-07:00

Peer pressure is the driving force behind this blog. I'm not doing this to share my thoughts, but to avoid the merciless ridicule i will be subjected to if i do not. : (
-And yes Awesome Man Shenanigans is a play on "Cool Guy Adventures".